Last Goodbye
by kissables333
Summary: "When love turns away, now, I don't follow it. I sit and suffer, unprotesting."


"I think we should stop seeing each other—"

He flinched back away from her. "What?" he asked in surprise. "Are you kidding?"

"Sirius, please—" she reached out to take his hand—to try to explain—but he wouldn't listen.

"Is there someone else?" he asked in anger. "Did you meet some muggle at school? One that isn't off far away for most of the year?" he yelled.

"No." she said quietly; her soft voice was almost lost in the mad pounding of his heart.

She was ending it. The girl that he loved with everything he had—with all of his heart and all of his soul—was leaving him. And he would be damned if he let her see how his heart was breaking.

"Fine. If you want…" he glared at her, trying to ignore the pain in his chest. "If you want to be over, then we are. Fine with me. I was getting bored with you anyway. I never see you. And you're not even a witch." he hissed. "Don't know what I was thinking." he shook his head in disgust that he did not feel. He wanted her to hurt. He wanted to rip her heart out and unceremoniously stomp upon it.

"Sirius, I didn't—"

"You didn't what?" he hissed. "Look, we're over. I have got to go. Now that I'm free, I don't want to waste any more time on_ you_."

"You don't understand. I'm—" she began in a quivering voice but he would not listen.

"I don't really care." he dismissed with an eye roll.

Her eyes were brimming with tears and he got a small glimmer of satisfaction from it. He wanted her to hurt. He turned his back on her and left.

"**When love turns away, now, I don't follow it. I sit and suffer, unprotesting."**

He wished he could forget her. He wanted to forget the girl who, without a second thought, threw his heart out the window. He started and finished his seventh year of schooling, trying to forget her. He tried to blur the memories of her until he no longer saw her face every time he closed his eyes. He tried to lose her in the kisses of red heads and blondes and brunettes but it never worked.

He finished out his schooling at Hogwarts and was tormented by the love between James and Lily. He wished he could have that with Harper.

And then the letter came.

Sirius had known her brother through his years at Hogwarts. Harper's brother was a year older than Sirius. Through Jack, Sirius met Harper. He knew from the first moment he saw her that she was the one. He knew that fifty years from then, he wanted to be married to her; he knew he would love her. He knew this before he had even spoken a word to her.

After Harper and Sirius had ended, Sirius lost touch with Jack. Until the letter. The letter that broke his heart.

Sirius attended the affair. For closure, only. He knew that if he didn't attend, he would always hold onto some misplaced hope.

And so he went. And sat in an uncomfortable chair. He watched as her muggle father cried and her muggle mother cried because they never thought that the day would come.

Words were spoken, tears were shed. A line of people formed so that they could give their blessings and their goodbyes.

He got on line as his heart ached painfully. He did not know how to let her go. He only knew how to hold on to her so very tightly.

And then she was before him. Harper had a content smile upon her smile. Dressed in a white gown, she looked like an angel. She had once been his angel. But now, it was too late. She belonged to someone else; her soul was someone else's.

He reached out, unable to stop himself, and ran his fingers down her cheek. Her eyes were closed and she smiled still.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, barely able to speak.

The tears fell from his eyes and into her casket.

She was cold.

She was gone.

"I love you." But she did not hear.

He was the last to say goodbye. The lid of the casket was closed, hiding her face from his view forever.

She was gone. He had let her go.

She had tried to tell him. She had tried to end it because she knew she was dying. She had given him up to save his heart and all he had done in return was hurt her.

He could have saved her.

But now, the only thing he had left was a goodbye.


End file.
